Weekend Update

Max and I made a trip to the ER last night. He was complaining about a pain in his groin. So after a 5+ hour wait, three Mickey Mouse episodes, an ultra sound and x-ray; a young, tall and handsome resident solemnly declared, "the good news is he does not have a hernia, but he is really constipated." 
My little Max was sent home with a prescription of Miralax and nutritional advice for his mommy. At midnight, I hailed a cab with one hand and carried Max, bundled in coat over dinosaur pajamas, with the other. In the taxi, Adele's "Someone Like You" was playing on the radio and Max sat quietly next to me, his little legs dangled over the seat as he looked out the window. And at that very moment, I never imagined loving someone so much.

The Happiness Project

I read the Happiness Project, a self help journal/ memoir skeptically. The author, Gretchen Rubin, is already a published writer and is married with two daughters. I wondered why she would seek anymore happiness. It was obvious when Elizabeth Gilbert traveled to Bali to eat, pray, love because she was getting a divorce. Dare I say that this Rubin, seemed a bit indulgent and spoiled? But then again,  don't I sometimes I wish that I were happier?
A lot of my idea of happiness now, seems hinged on the day that I become a published writer. When I was in my 20's, I believed that true bliss happened when my prince charming asked, "will you marry me?"  but soon found out, surprisingly, that you can still want to be happier and there's more laundry to do. (I feel like I have to state the obvious here: I love my husband and my kids) So is Rubin saying  that even if you "have it all", that you could still be unhappy/want to be happier?  I decided to examine what makes me unhappy and happy. And maybe by making this list, I can guarantee a happy me, like all the time.

See, I know what makes unhappy, like when:

Craig and I fight
The kids are sick
the dog won't stop barking and there's no one to take her for a walk
Max misses nap time
Max has a so-so day at school 
I'm afraid to look at the checking account
my house is a mess
i have a fight with my parents
i am anxious- (this can be triggered by a massively long list)


I am happy when: - (in no particular order)
Craig and I are getting along.
I have a hearty -from the gut -belly laugh with an old friend
my bills are paid on time
I have a plan.
I get a lot of sleep
there's a good movie on pay per view and I have time to watch it
my kids are healthy and happy
Max has a nap and goes to bed at exactly 7:30pm
Max eats lunch and dinner 
i write
I hear these songs: Ava Maria, C.R.E.A.M, Born To Run.


Breakdown of happy/unhappy chart.
(excludes Fevers-Headaches-Craig studying for finals)
6:30 am UNHAPPY - Charlotte wakes up, I went to bed too late. I am tired
6:43am HAPPY - i'm awake and its not that painful
7:00 am HAPPY - I pour out 1 cup of Go Lean Cereal w almond milk, flaxeeds and golden raisins
7:03 am UNHAPPY - 3 golden raisins left in box.
7:05am HAPPY - Coffee is ready
 unhappy-happy suspended as I get Max ready for school.
8:15am HAPPY - Max is off to school. Charlotte is in a nap. Reading Page Six. Life is good

I'll stop here, but you get my drift. My happy meter is fickle.   However, I can guarantee that my happy meter goes off the chart, on Monday night at 9pm. This is when I sit back on my couch, turn on the TV and I hear Kyle Richard's husky voice, "I may not be the richest girl in Beverly Hills, but I am the luckiest."

Reality Check

I get really excited Sunday night because I know that I only have one more night to wait for The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. And then after Monday night, I get a little down cuz I have to wait a whole other week for my favorite show. 
So this Monday night here's what I found myself thinking about as I lay my head to sleep:

• I want to wear hoop earrings like Kyle. And I think I might buy me self a pair this weekend.
• Kyle's cinqo di mayo party looked a little bare bones compared to all the past dinner parties featured.
• Maurizio's mom doesn't look different post face lift.
• Taylor is certifiably insane.
• Was Dede told by producers to instigate the fight?
• I quite like Brandi, she's like a little fawn.
• Kyle is a self rightous prude when it comes to Brandi, and I believe it's because she is jealous of Brandi's lean physique.
• I wish RH of Beverly Hills was a two hour event, or was on 5 days a week because the Tori/Dean  and T.I/Tiny shows are not that engaging.
• I love TI and Tiny's relationship.

But then after feeling down, I realized I had tivoed Kim and Kourtney Take New York. And Tuesday night I put my feet up on the coffee table with a cup of tea and wouldn't you know I got hooked on the Kardashian sisters again.
And as I lay my head down to sleep, I thought about the following:

• Klhoe is looking a bit disheveled and pale these days. That sundress that she wore at the Disick's house -  not flattering.
• Kourtney looks like Frida Khalo, a bit mannish, but artistically attractive
• Kim is beautiful and very curvy - what a bosom she has!
• Kris Humphries is an immature jerk. Example: he was really unsympathetic when Kim cut her finger.
• I love Kourtney's wardrobe the best.

Brunch and other pursuits

November Highlights:

Charlotte sleeps through the night.

We proceeded with the "cry it out" method. I was totally opposed to CIO, but after 3 months of not sleeping more than 4 hour stretches something had to give. But it wasn't all too bad and I wish I had done it sooner.

Now that I  can sleep, uninterrupted, from 9:30pm - 6:30pm, my question is, have I arrived to the "other" side of parenting?

This is what  I imagine the other side of parenting to be:
1. kids that sleep through the night 7pm - 7am  - no exceptions!
2. easy communication. which means something like this,
Max: Mom I want to wear my pajamas to school.
Me: how about we wear this outfit instead?
Max: Sure thing, mom
3. Going to brunch, at 12pm, not 8am.
4. Going to brunch and not freaking out that we forgot the i pad
5. Going to brunch and not freaking out even more that the i phone, pre-loaded with Dora, has 1% battery left.
5. being able to go to brunch at that brand new place everyone is talking about, instead of driving by it as you head to a playground.  (picture blogger's nose pressed up to window as she sees brunch crowd milling around sidewalk)

I should remember that I had years of brunches, which included heaps of huevos rancheros, fresh squeezed orange juice, huge mugs of coffee, famous chocolate chip pancakes, famous crunchy french toast, and famous scrambles.  I did my stint of waiting in long lines, leaving my name with the hostess and dutifully nodding, "yes" when she said, "it will be a 45 minute wait".
I should also remember, that after waiting 45 plus minutes to get into a restaurant, there was a good chance my food would come out after another 45 minutes.  Inevitably my order would have gone awry, like, undercooked hash browns and a missing order of turkey bacon. If this wasn't torture enough, my chair, squeezed into an impossibly tiny space, was jostled by bad tempered waiters as I juggled a winter coat, an oversized purse and my coffee. I never returned my food because I was starving by the time it arrived and could have eaten eat the left overs from the adjacent table.
So do I really miss brunch? Maybe not, but I'm big on remembering the past with rose tinted glasses. Sometimes I miss my 20's and all the confusion and the brunches that came with it.

The Real Housewives of Anywhere

My Bravo TV fast has not begun and probably never will, as long as Kyle and Kim and Teresa and Caroline are on TV.   I can not get enough of these catty gals and I'm not sure what the draw is for me. But I believe it's for these following reasons.
The Fighting. I read somewhere that these shows do for women, what wrestling does for men.  I can see the correlation, just take the Gorga Baptism episode. Teresa and her brother put on a good, good show. We  all know when Teresa walked over to congratulate Joe, that all hell was about to break loose. If I were a man, would I yell at the TV and chant "Teresa, Teresa"? - probably.
 The Clothes:  The Beverly Hills group favor Louboutins and they will wear them with everything from a cocktail dress to a bikini. These shoes provide for real edge-of your-seat entertainment, especially when Adrienne walks down a flight of stairs. She looks like she will topple over at any moment. Kyle and Taylor sport a lot of resort looks, like white jeans, billowy tops and over sized floppy hats, emoting the feel of the perpetual vacation. And while I openly disdain the tacky RH of NJ,  I secretly believe it would be fun to always wear sparkles from head to toe. Sparkles, especially on my work out gear, would inspire me to exercise in the morning and cook pasta at night.
The Gossip: I envy the oodles and oodles  of time these gals have to gab just like I did in high school.   I need to ask  Kyle how she finds the time to raise four kids, including a two year old. How does she grocery shop, potty train, help with homework, clean up toys, and go over to Lisa's house to discuss Brandi's son peeing on the lawn, all within 24 hours?
The Houses (and what's in them).  While I'm impressed by Adrienne's indoor spa, I'm way more impressed by her framed wedding dress. Questions that keep me up way past the show are:  How does Teresa still live in that big house when she is so broke? How does Melissa  live in such a big house when she is so young? Does Villa Blanca really pay the mortgage for Lisa's mini mansion?  And doesn't it suck that Camille has to sell her Beaver Creek pad?

There was a brief moment when I considered ditching the RH series. This is when Kyle revealed that there is a make up team behind the camera. She  started to say "I was getting my makeup done," and then corrected herself and said, "I was doing my makeup." I gasped, horrified to discover that she didn't do her own makeup before Camille's dinner party. But  I chose to move on and watch the rest of the episode. I need my fix. 

What's emerging this season, as with every show, is how horrible everyone is. The housewives behavior gets more and more deranged until they can't get anymore disgusting and implode into a ball of smoke. Or rather, until Andy Cohen fires them.

What's also emerging is that my brain cells are disappearing or evaporating. If I continue down this path I will not be able to hold a conversation by spring.  I wait for Monday nights, remote in one hand, raw cashews in an other. As  a side note,  I'm trying to be a vegan and cashews seem like the right snack.Don't you think?