Hitting The Pole

I took a pole dancing class on Saturday. I helped throw a bachelorette party for a friend and instead of sitting around eating tea sandwiches and opening gifts, two adorable young ladies came to the house and set up a pole in the living room. We learnt how to do the "knee tease" and the "sexy walk" and of course how to swing around a pole. Our 20 year old instructor had the most gorgeous collection of tattoos all over her body, including a butterfly on the top of each foot. After an hour of watching her gracefully move around the pole and then trying to imitate her moves, I wanted to take the show on the road but not before stopping at the nearest tattoo parlor. When the session finished, the instructor handed out a class schedule for those of us interested in continuing the fun, and suggested that we could bring our own heels or buy a pair at the dance studio. I immediately thought of the black, patent leather, peep hole, Stuart Weitzman heels in my closet, but somehow I think they just wouldn't cut it. I need to buy something less jewish princess and more runaway teen. I feel like a desperate house wife that breaks out of folding laundry and changing diapers and goes bonkers. I could dance during the lunch shift and be home in time to make a meatloaf for dinner. Of course that might entail taking my clothes off, which I have conveniently forgotten about. Perhaps I can dance in sweatpants? I do have a picture of myself but left my camera at my friends house. I'll post it later.

On other mom news, this morning was a bit rough for me. I joined my friend at The Mommy and Me Monday Movie at The Grove. This is where moms and some dads bring their babies to watch a movie and apparently the sound is lowered and the lights are dimly lit. I should have known better than to go. I have my one "thing" with Max and that is I don't let him watch television. I'm not saying he'll never watch television or go to a movie, but for now I just prefer that he doesn't. The movie theatre was pretty packed. Outside the theatre, strollers were lined up three deep against the wall. Inside the theatre, some moms breast fed, some babies cried, but everyone was laughing and chatting and having a good time. Me, I freaked out. I tried to be cool. But I noticed Max seemed a bit confused, maybe scared? And when the movie came on it seemed pretty loud to me. And I put him on my lap and tried to turn him around from the screen but it didn't work, he naturally wanted to see what was going on. And when I put him in the car seat on the floor, he got upset. All the time I was thinking I'm going to look like such a freak if I leave. I felt like the one person that gets paranoid when they smoke pot. I started to sweat and all I wanted to do was get out of the theatre. I turned to my friend and said I had to go. She was nice enough to be nice about it. Then I turned to her friends and said I would be back. No need in telling the whole row that I am different than everyone else. I was already mortified. I don't like being different. I remember when I was younger my parents were always going against the grain and I hated it. Thank goodness Max is too young to know what I did today.

After the movie I went to lunch at Rocco's. (the best Pizza in LA - awarded by me, Daniela) and met my good friend who I used to work with. I felt like I had nothing to say. I'm in this weird place today where I don't feel I belong totally in the mom world or the career world. And can I add that I hate that ate pizza! These post baby days, it takes forever to lose the weight and one slice can be lethal. My house is a mess. The bills seemed to pile in like crazy this month. I feel useless. Maybe I just need a nap. I feel very, very tired today.