Trolling the net on Saturday night

Craig is with his fantasy football league tonight. I attempted to spend a girls night with my friend and our babies. We ordered in garlic chicken from Versailles but we didn't get a chance to enjoy it, I ate with one hand and with the other, pushed a fussy Max in his stroller. My friend scarfed down her rice and beans while she bounced her daughter in the sling, she ate so quickly that she needed Tums. Our girls night ended earlier than planned and I came home. Now I'm watching TV and googling just random & aimless thoughts. "Teddy - In his words" is playing on CNN . I have mixed feelings about Senator Ted Kennedy, on one hand he stood for so much good. But I can't help but google and re-google Mary Jo, the young woman who drowned. What does it all mean if you leave the scene of a crime, or an accident but a horrid accident at that? If the accident was a truly an accident, shouldn't he have called the police right away. While googling I came across this article written by Joyce Carol Oates on her thoughts about Ted Kennedy and the death of Mary Jo Kopechne.

I feel it's a bit silly and childish to feel sorrow for those I never met. But I did feel saddened by the passing of DJ AM, who was born three years before me. When I see the date 1973, I just see a little boy growing up in the 1980's. I also saw him two weeks ago eating at La Provance. I assume that celebrities don't like to be recognized, so I avoided staring. I was also very saddened by the death of Dominick Dunne. I ashamed to say I just discovered he was a novelist, I only knew him through his crime reports in Vanity Fair. But his voice just jumped off the page. I really relished every single word he wrote. I imagine it would have been fun to hang out with him at Elaine's in New York with all the other literary greats.

Well I should get off the computer (Craig thinks I'm addicted)

Pre School Panic and other misc

Now that I have approximately 4 months left in Los Angeles I am seeing everything with rose colored glasses. Including the mad and insane rush to apply to pre-schools. Since I plan to return here, I started the pre-school application process for Max. Yes Max is only 6.5 months old, but as anyone from NY and LA knows this pre-school stuff is serious business. Rumor has it that if I am interested in jewish pre-schools, I should be signing up for multiple Synagogues even if I don't plan on attending services, and I should have done this before Max was born or conceived! The thought even crossed my mind to join 1st presbyterian. I never ever thought I'd be one of "those" parents. Oh and I'm too I'm afraid to mention what schools I'm interested in, just in case a pre-school director finds this site. I don't want to blacklisted!! I'm trying not to get too caught up but I already met with Dr. Michelle Nitka, THE specialist in finding the right LA pre-school for your precious little one. Her talk was very helpful and I made a list of places I liked and that I needed to call immediately. I have a slightly uncomfortable feeling that some of these establishments will admit your child based on your bank account statements and that an excecutive producing credit on a hit TV show doesn't hurt either. At the bottom of my heart I know that everything will be ok, Max will to go the pre-school right for him.

On other baby notes: Max can not be left alone on the mat for even a second he seems to scoot/crawl to the most dangerous thing in the room, like a dangling wire, the fireplace, or a gross and disgusting gym shoe. We've called Boo Boo busters to baby proof the house. I thought we would baby proof ourselves, but I have heard a few horror stories so I'm not taking any chances.

Last night we ate at Edendale Grill in Los Feliz/Silverlake area. I believe Edendale Grill is best for happy hour, but not for dinner. The atmosphere is great. The food not so. I haven't been that far east of town since pre-marriage. Driving down Franklin Avenue, brought back a lot of memories of when I was single and reminded me how much I love this town!

Midnight Train To Philadelphia

Midnight Train to Georgia is one of my all time favorite songs. Originally I loved the romanticsm of following your man and your heart no matter what. Plus I love anything that has an L.A. reference . But as the years go on I am not sure which part of the song hits home more, is it when the chorus says "he wanted to be a star but he didn't get far" or is it that she's leaving on the midnight train to Georgia to follow her man? I am the man and the woman in that song.

Why do I mention this? Because in January I'm getting on the metaphorical train to Philadelphia. For the past two years Craig has been pursuing his bachelors degree at Santa Monica College. He applied to transfer to the University of Pennsylvania and yesterday he got his acceptance email. This is what Craig has wanted for over ten years. When we met I encouraged him to go back to school and get a bachelors degree. I even said "I'll go wherever you want me to go". And now here we are. He has been working very hard to get here. And I am very happy/proud for him. But all I can think is "what about me?" I know the upside of moving to Philly, it's close to my friends and family in New York, it's a great city, good art, good food, good people. Plus a favorite author of mine, Jennifer Weiner, is a resident and so is the famous director M Night Shyamalan. The Roots are from Philly and so are Hall and Oats and Eve the rapper. But I digress. I had this vision of moving to L.A. and what would happen. I would start out in a small studio apartment and then ten years later I'd have a gorgeous house in the Hollywood Hills. But even more importantly than big houses - the life I would lead would be immersed in writing, and travelling (the bill footed by the studio backing my movie) Sounds like a fairytale. But why else do you move to LA?

I can take my writing anywhere. But what will I call my blog? Greetings From Philadelphia? I don't know.... ..me leaving LA before accomplishing what I wanted to accomplish, feels like I have failed. Well I haven't left yet! I have a few more months to go and Craig promised me we can come back after he graduates.

Daniela & Daniela

The raw honest truth is - besides blogging I haven't written a word. Not even an "How To" article in over a week and half. I have over scheduled myself with baby classes, and meeting friends and watching an entire season of mad men. Not to mention, that August has been the month of parents/in laws. I have not had a moment to myself. I saw the film Julie & Julia last night. I really loved it. I remember NY in 2002. I turned 26 years old that year - I was happy that 25 was behind me. 25 had been positively awful. I had been a thankless assistant in the "music biz" and then fell in love with someone who clearly, clearly did not love me back. In August I quit the assistant job to freelance in film production when 9-11 happened and the whole world seemed to temporarily stop. The memory of 9/11 was fresh in 2002, just like they depict in the movie. I was working at a post production company on 34th and Madison. I lived on 10th street between 5th and 6th Avenue and I started and finished my first screen play. My brother and I even filmed a music video together. I was the writer/director he was the DP. And I was beginning to think of moving to Los Angeles.

So now what? I'm going to give myself very small goals to get to my larger goals. One page a day. A page that isn't a "how to" article or my blog. I have until August 31st for a first draft of a 30 page teleplay I'm working on. A page a day until then is less than 30 pages. However I will start with a page a day. I think I need a ticker on my blog page.

On a another note: About the Mcsteamy sex tape. or non sex tape. While its no body's business what people choose to do in their personal lives, and yes even if there is a very public tape, I did form an opinion. How could one not? Here are two people that have fame and fortune and access to so many places that mere mortals do not. I have been dying to see Jersey Boys and treat my family to see the show. Last Thanksgiving good tickets were $300 a person. We saw The Marvelous Wonderettes instead. Even if Broadway isn't your thing, why not take advantage of what the world has to offer? When the world is at your feet, is doing cocaine, in a very dull looking bathroom I might add, as good as it gets? I suppose if Mcsteamy and his wife were in their twenties I might understand the allure. But I do think there is an age cap on drugs. I didn't watch much . Mcsteamy makes a brilliant correlation between the word cocaine and his grandmother's dog called coquette. I felt embarrassed for him, not because he was naked but because he sounded so dumb.

Weekend Update

August has been the month of inlaws and parents. Last weekend I saw Craig's step mom and dad in Sonoma, this week my mom flew into town and next weekend we see Craig's sister and her husband, and their baby/our neice. My mom and I have spent all weekend watching season one of Mad Men. We are hooked. I'm fascinated by Betty Draper, the consumate housewife. She really can cook a roast, blow dry her hair and give her man some lovin' all in a good day's work. And her nightgowns are spectacular!

I was really inspired by the organic babyfood making class and the proof is that this weekend I pureed butternut Squash, apple, peaches, and yams. I put them into these little tiny food containers which I bought at the Pump Station. Max LOVED the butternut squash.

I also bought a wooden spoon at the Pump Station, which prompted Craig to get really annoyed at me. He thinks I take the "no plastic" thing too far sometimes. The wooden spoon got him into a really bad mood, so much so that he stomped off to the bedroom. I told him to watch out, because Max is getting a wooden bowl really soon.

Well that's all for now. I could bore you with my sugar intake this week but I won't. Although I will say it officially ended tonight with a piece of Key Lime Pie. - well let's hope it's official, pretty soon I can't use the excuse that my extra 10lbs is because "I just had a baby".

Back to the routine.

Changing Table At Tiffany's

Max and I started off in Beverly Hills this morning to get a friend of mine a belated wedding gift. I mention this because the bathroom in the parking structure (under Tiffany's - Wilshire and Rodeo) is clean, empty and has a fabulous changing table. Afterwards back at home, Max had a nap and I made a healthy lunch. Then we headed to Hollywood for an organic baby food making class. This all seems pretty easy right, but by this time getting Max in and out of the car 4 times by 1:00pm - has me pooped.

But there was no time for yawning. It was time to learn how to cook for my precious baby. The lovely woman who taught the organic baby food class looked much younger than me, and has a winning personality, a mixture of wise lady with a dollop of angelic and smidgen of adorableness. Her apartment was sun filled, airy and simply decorated with country cottage type furniture. If her aura could speak it would say "earth mother" . There were about 8 other mothers, all really great ladies, including a good friend of mine. As the class proceeded I noticed one woman would pull out a boob, and then another boob would follow and the breast feeding began. I fed Max before class because it was his feeding time but also because I was acutely aware that I did not want to shake a pre-made bottle of Similac in front of earthy moms. But alas, Max got hungry again. I had no choice, the Similac needed to be unveiled, so I went out into the hallway where I put together a bottle, and then walked back in - as though nothing happened. The instructor showed us different purees we could do, including some that included olive oil and basil. I might just feed the puree to my husband and call it dinner time! This stuff is gooood! Max is currently on blended peas. I made them myself!!

After the class my friend and I headed over to whole Foods where I indulged in an Iced Mocha and Cranberry Oatmeal cookie. ( a very large cookie) At this point Max has been in and out of the car 6 times. My back hurts, it is hot, Max is very heavy. I can see why Britney spears stuck little Jaden or her lap while driving. I'm sorry I ever judged her parenting skills, believe me I can understand the urge to forgo the car seat!

Max and I then went home. I watched a little TV and then got Max ready for a walk. Craig took over when he got home and I met my friend for a belated birthday dinner. We went to Hirozen, which was DEELICIOUS and then to Milk, where I had a mini red velvet cupcake, a rice krispy treat and a corner of a heated chocolate chip cookie. I also indulged in a good session of people watching and promptly decided I need to get myself some bangles and sharp cut bangs.

Is Anyone Out There?

First before I ramble on about my honesty. I was googling "greetings from la" and I discovered this music blog. great stuff.

I didn't know Greetings From LA was a Tim Buckley album until recently.

Back to being honest: I have been sending out query letters to magazines. I have written a couple of articles about baby stuff. And a couple of pieces about finding love. I sent a couple of articles to the New York Times. I have been making phone calls, OK I made one phone call. But the point is - Every week I am trying to get something accomplished other than getting through the day. I got one rejection letter so far. The letter came through my mail slot with a very familiar looking stamp, it took me a minute to remember it was my SASE ( self addressed stamped envelope) And I opened the letter to a very generic message, "thank you for submitting..etc etc" I have a folder of rejection letters from years past. I actually like having the folder, it reminds me that I am brave, that I actually do try for things I want and that I don't just day dream. But I can not wait for the day when that rejection folder stops being opened and I am getting offers. I have a book called "How To Write Irresistible Query Letters". I should read it.

Today I woke up and made carrot mush for Max. It's his first real food meal. Steaming the carrots was like making a cordon blue dish, it took me FOREVER. I even looked up "how to steam carrots" on the internet. He fell asleep and I sat down and wrote a few more queries.

Last week I printed all the addresses but today I hand wrote them. I hope that isn't too unprofessional.

Now I need to finish that script. I need to write. Craig has a blog and his blog gets way more hits than mine. Craig is crazy honest, he puts everything out there. I drive him crazy with my blog "have you read my blog?" "what did you think" "did you like the part about the carrots?" I have a sinking feeling that my blog just isn't that honest or edgy. Now I can aim for honest, but edgy..that's not me. I've always played it pretty safe. well I guess I have done some things that weren't considered safe like I moved cross country and three times in my life I didn't have safe sex. (was that edgy enough?)

There's a life out there that I really want. I have to try before I give up. Which I'm on the brink of doing.

Poolside Mommy

I went to therapy today. Max comes with me. He fell asleep today, almost as to say "Mom just get over it already!" We then drove to the Annenberg Beach House on Pacific Coast Highway. This beach club is open to the public and you just need to make reservations for the pool and parking. It's so clean and pretty and feels like you are at a private club. There's nothing more spectacular than making that left turn from Ocean Drive on to PCH. The view today was incredible. Truly a perfect California summer day.

I was invited to the beach club by a mom in my baby group, to join her at another mommy and me group. My new friend was running late and I didn't feel like looking for a group of people that I didn't know. Instead Max and I sat at the beachside restaurant, he had a bottle and I had a greek salad and an ice coffee. I was just about to start getting ready to go back home, when my new mommy friend arrived and she led me to the pool area. I met a slew of more new moms, and quickly became overwhelmed. Sometimes I feel I am a pretend grown up. I used to look at moms parked with strollers and did not want a part of that. Now I am one of them. I am them! After a half an hour of asking questions like "Oh I see Jackson sits up, when did that happen?" and "how old is Sara?" and "when did you sleep train?" I started to get very antsy and packed up. Max was tired anyway. I was also slightly overwhelmed by the fact that all these mom seem to be in a ton of classes. I thought my group was enough, but there's gymboree, and music classes, and a progressive class called "outside the box", and the infamous Jackie in the valley and this other woman named Jill. Oy.

Back at Home sweet home I hung out with my friend Alie, and then it was off to meet Craig for a work party at Father's Office. But guess what? No babies are allowed in because apparently Father's Office is considered a bar. who knew? I am pretty sure they want to keep their establishment stroller free, and really, who can blame them? Strollers can be very annoying. I should also add they don't serve ketchup and they are a burger establishment...strange, I know. I told Craig to stay and honestly I was bit relieved that I didn't have to make small talk with more people, I was so pooped. Max and I beelined down the block to Le Dijonaise, where he had a bottle and I had a steak salad. Afterwards I headed home, gave Max a bath and put on the E! channel.

Tomorrow I'm putting myself back to work. The first draft of My script is due August 31st. Time is running out.

Hitting The Pole

I took a pole dancing class on Saturday. I helped throw a bachelorette party for a friend and instead of sitting around eating tea sandwiches and opening gifts, two adorable young ladies came to the house and set up a pole in the living room. We learnt how to do the "knee tease" and the "sexy walk" and of course how to swing around a pole. Our 20 year old instructor had the most gorgeous collection of tattoos all over her body, including a butterfly on the top of each foot. After an hour of watching her gracefully move around the pole and then trying to imitate her moves, I wanted to take the show on the road but not before stopping at the nearest tattoo parlor. When the session finished, the instructor handed out a class schedule for those of us interested in continuing the fun, and suggested that we could bring our own heels or buy a pair at the dance studio. I immediately thought of the black, patent leather, peep hole, Stuart Weitzman heels in my closet, but somehow I think they just wouldn't cut it. I need to buy something less jewish princess and more runaway teen. I feel like a desperate house wife that breaks out of folding laundry and changing diapers and goes bonkers. I could dance during the lunch shift and be home in time to make a meatloaf for dinner. Of course that might entail taking my clothes off, which I have conveniently forgotten about. Perhaps I can dance in sweatpants? I do have a picture of myself but left my camera at my friends house. I'll post it later.

On other mom news, this morning was a bit rough for me. I joined my friend at The Mommy and Me Monday Movie at The Grove. This is where moms and some dads bring their babies to watch a movie and apparently the sound is lowered and the lights are dimly lit. I should have known better than to go. I have my one "thing" with Max and that is I don't let him watch television. I'm not saying he'll never watch television or go to a movie, but for now I just prefer that he doesn't. The movie theatre was pretty packed. Outside the theatre, strollers were lined up three deep against the wall. Inside the theatre, some moms breast fed, some babies cried, but everyone was laughing and chatting and having a good time. Me, I freaked out. I tried to be cool. But I noticed Max seemed a bit confused, maybe scared? And when the movie came on it seemed pretty loud to me. And I put him on my lap and tried to turn him around from the screen but it didn't work, he naturally wanted to see what was going on. And when I put him in the car seat on the floor, he got upset. All the time I was thinking I'm going to look like such a freak if I leave. I felt like the one person that gets paranoid when they smoke pot. I started to sweat and all I wanted to do was get out of the theatre. I turned to my friend and said I had to go. She was nice enough to be nice about it. Then I turned to her friends and said I would be back. No need in telling the whole row that I am different than everyone else. I was already mortified. I don't like being different. I remember when I was younger my parents were always going against the grain and I hated it. Thank goodness Max is too young to know what I did today.

After the movie I went to lunch at Rocco's. (the best Pizza in LA - awarded by me, Daniela) and met my good friend who I used to work with. I felt like I had nothing to say. I'm in this weird place today where I don't feel I belong totally in the mom world or the career world. And can I add that I hate that ate pizza! These post baby days, it takes forever to lose the weight and one slice can be lethal. My house is a mess. The bills seemed to pile in like crazy this month. I feel useless. Maybe I just need a nap. I feel very, very tired today.